It’s not something we got to choose – it was chosen for us. My parents made the decision without really thinking about the life-long implications. I am of course talking about them choosing to have their children sleep with a fan on.
It really is all my mom’s fault and my poor dad got suckered into it eventually. She had to sleep during odd hours when she was studying to be a nurse and a fan was the best way to drown out any noise. And once you begin to sleep with white noise there is no way back.
Oh the white noise. For those of you that don’t sleep with it, I’m not quite sure how to describe the Pavlovian reaction that occurs when that fan is switched on. It’s like being swallowed up in a cocoon of Dramamine as your eyes are unwillingly forced shut. I was reminded of this on Tuesday when I arrived to work somewhat sleepy – Taylor and I were out late at a concert the night before. Cue the two hour meeting in a darkened conference room. With a fan running due to the extreme heat. I probably looked like I was having some sort of seizure as I fought to keep my eyes from closing for the entire 120 minute period.
You might suggest that I try sleeping without a fan. Do you know how impossible that is after 25 years of white noise? Every. Single. Sound. Seems. Magnified. Any sleepover I went to resulted in me wide awake at 3:30 in the morning convinced that the creak I just heard was someone breaking into my friend’s house. When the power goes out I am guaranteed to not be able to fall asleep until I fumble around for my battery powered sound machine. It’s a sickness that I have now begun to spread to Taylor. And we are doomed to pass it onto our children. And the curse will continue.